Wabush Spy...

My twin sister and I had one constant thing growing up. No, definitely not the undying love of our parents but rather, the school janitor. No matter what part of the country we lived in, sooner or later, the same man always seemed to appear. Dubbed "the Wabush spy", we even created some stories about his life and his mission. We never actually spoke to him ; he always kept his distance and so did we. The Wabush Spy made apparitions in our lives from kindergarten through the end of high school. He even showed up in College.



What brought me to the subject ? After almost 10 years of absence, the Wabush spy made an apparition over the weekend in my hospital room. Sweeping the floors.



I am seriously in need of a drink. Or 2.

Junky...

4 trips to the hospital.

5 joly nurses with needles.

6 tubes to be filled.

Hands, wrists, forearms, elbows and feet involved.

21 wounds.

2 tubes handed out.

I would not have made a good junky.

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Back to regular posting once I can feel my limbs again.

50 cents beer...

This blog will soon be taking a different turn. No, I am not changing the template... Rather, I am going on tour. An extended one. Tired of living the double life of day job / music playing, I've decided to take the plunge and embark on the cruise ship musician journey. Some would call it La-La land for wanabes. I'd rather call it Candyland for musicians : getting paid very well to play 3 hours a day of cheesy music and seeing the world for free. Oh ! and 50 cents beer. What more could I ask for ?



As last minute details are being worked on, I am finding myself at a lost on to what to bring with me on the ship. I know I'll be gone for at least 6 months and will go through the 4 seasons. I can also only bring 1 suitcase with me. I've never been a good packer and I find myself wanting to bring more momentos than actual clothes. So far, the only things ready are my MP3 and the digital picture frame... not good. More important things always seem to come up : watching Grey's , playing Mah Jong or reading my horoscope... I seem to have the attention spam of a 5 years old when it comes to packing.



I know I'll be bringing a laptop (free unlimited wifi connection on board !!!), my camera, my MP3, my trumpets (duh !) and a digital picture frame. I've also started a list of DVD's I'll be bringing and I've enrolled in 2 online classes and an intensive gym program to keep busy. But that won't get me very far. I definitely need help.



Any suggestions ??



* For the ones wondering ; the alcool part had already been covered as beer on board is 50 cents and hard liquor and wine, $1.25...

Archives...

I recently bought a new (euh.. well used) cell phone on E*ay and you guessed it, it was a total ripoff. But while playing with its different functions, I realised the previous owner hadn't deleted his personal information ! That's over 300 stored phone numbers ; all women. Actually, if you live in the 205 area and date a lot, I might have your number... I started erasing his banking information and numerous other personal stuff when I came across his picture and video archive. Actually, if you live in the 205 area and date a lot, I might have a video of you two... No, I didn't watched them (ok, I took a very quick look at one) And yes, all pictures and videos were erased. But that was some pretty scary stuff !!

How about you ; any weird things lately ?

Random stuff ... Yes, I am that busy !

- Nico (a good friend now living in Cambridge, UK) ate a poutine less than 20 minutes after landing. I'll agree, it was indeed a trip from hell and we were in a rush but he might have just set some new record.

- I gaved my nephew a mohawk over the weekend. Just to freak out his mom. And it worked. Off course, I shaved it off before he went out to school: the attitude that piece of hair was giving him was way too freaky !! But darn, the look on his mom's was priceless !!

- My 7 month old niece just started walking. Her mom is in sooooo much trouble !!

- We had to redo a take during a recording session last weekend because a mic picked up a growling stomach...

- I just learned that one of my favorite band , Das Contras, will be in Rochester, NY on June 15th for the Jazz Festival. You should definitely check them out if you have the chance. I know I will !! Those guys are awesome !!

- The thing that finally put a smile on my face this week ? A gargantuesque army brat fixing his car while belting out a Roxette song. Thinking about it, that could have made a pretty good blackmailing clip...



- A very smelly guy sitting in front of me in the bus, got up and stuck his hands IN his pants to fix a wedgie. Then smelled his hands.



I might have nightmares for a while.

How about you ? How's your week going ??

My Birthday is coming up !!

Dear mom, dad, Rachel and Garry ( yeah ... I do know you guys are reading this blog : I have that magic thing called *statcounter* that keeps me in the know... So glad you all know that I tend to get drunk quite frenquently and own a flashlight )



Since you all grew tired of my stupid answers about birthday gifts many years ago and simply stoped asking me , I though I'd surprise you this year and make a real AND plausible list. I know, I'm that great !!





So here we go :







Books !! I do know that at the spead I get through them, getting a library card would be a better idea but I just LOVE the smell of new books.

But it can't be just any books though ! The intellectual in me needs chick lit...










Flip-Flops !! No, one can never have enough of those. Ever.











A Lomo Oktomat. I know ! So cool !!

"A camera that captures a tiny, eight-frame action sequence with one press. Uses 35 mm films." I soooooooooo need that !!









Mr. Potato Head. Just because.










And finally, my very own chocolate cake. Because I always had to share mine and it's about time I get one JUST FOR ME !! I'm that self centered...






Oh ! And Happy "April Fool's Day" birthday to you too Rachel !! I know : I just had to plug our very serious birth date... I wish you a day without any crisis with some time for yourself. But your turn : What should I get you ?? I'll take any reasonable suggestion... But it's got to be for YOURSELF and should include no kids or husband. Sorry !

Statistics...

29% of us think about a former love at least once a week

53% read their horoscopes regularly

90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us

85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear

85% of women wear the wrong bra size

45% believe in ghosts

58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't

47% drink straight from the carton when nobody else is around

22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink

Nearly 1/3 of women color their hair

62% of us pop our zits

30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat

50 % of couples admitted that they are incompatible when it comes to sleeping with their partner

39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet



And my favorite...



Men say the average erect penis is 10". Women say it's 4"




Any other statistics I should add ??



**Quizz**


Since were talking statistics...


My birthday is coming up next Sunday. I know: April Fool's Day. Ha! Ha! How much will I be able to drink ? A bottle of wine to the first person who comes up with the right answer...

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz...

I woke up at 3h15am last night, certain a bomb had just exploded in my building. Very loud and muffled repeating banging, shaking walls and people screaming. But no. It was the F*#!%? upstairs neighbours fighting. Again. And not just in a yelling kind of way. In a huge on-the-floor growling fistfight. Their love match lasted a very long and exasperating 30 minutes which my nephews took as a hint that bedtime was over. Yé !! Notting better than trying to find a kid friendly movie at 4h00 am... After finally setlling the kids back in bed for a "nap" , a mommy and an aunt found themselves listening to a new brawl and fistfight just outside their appartment. Yep ! A very stupid resident thought it would be a good idea to remind the now calm neighbours about the rules and regulations of the building. Hum... That went very well.



This is not the first time this has happened and definitely not the last. The landlord can't do a thing since they are paying rent on time and law enforcement, well just doesn't care.





Any ideas on how to quiet them down at night ? We are very open to any silent poison or voodoo tricks.

Book collection and singlehood...

Going through loads of boxes for books to read over the weekend, I happened to find a though reminder on why I am single and why I shouldn't be allowed to find a boyfriend on my own...



I've always had a thing for bad-boys. Guys that apparently only I saw things in them ; everybody else was just clueless on why the heck I would freely choose to go out with such weirdos.



Over the years, I've developed quite an obsession with a certain category of books. Books I would deliberately place on coffee tables, bedstands or bathroom shelves and really hope the guys would fumble through them. But I never got quite that lucky and I am now the proud owner of books such as : The art of civilized conversation, Etiquette for dummies, Little book of manners for boys and children books such as How to speak politely and why, How to behave and why and finally Manners can be fun.



Yep ; most of my exes where great sophisticated crowd charmers. But I am now a quite bored single gal still waiting for her friends to fix her up. Got the message guys ??

Rants and other bits...

- I've been feeling quite exhausted lately ; falling asleep everywhere, even on rehearsals while playing. My brain feels off most of the time and I've had the hardest time keeping my concentration for the past 2 weeks. Most of the time, I feel like a headless chicken running nowhere. And a sore one ; my entire body aches as well. Sore muscles as if I'd just ran an entire marathon. And infernal migraines to top it off. I should have it checked out but I'm just too exhausted to do so...





- Election day is coming soon over here and I've decided to do the most responsible thing and not vote. Well, the most responsible thing for me. I've always made fun of the whole thing ever since I've had the right to vote, by putting my vote in for the fake parties, like the Rhino* who promised to put asphalt on the entire St.Lawrence River, in order to get a bigger and more efficient highway throughout the province. Or for the independent guy who promised to rise the minimum wage to $20 / hour and legalize weed. Surprisingly enough, none of my favorites ever got elected... Call me stupid but I just find it a bit hypocrite to go in and vote for the one I think lied fewer times than the others. So instead of standing in line in the cold for a few hours, I'll just stay home, have a beer and watch a good old sappy movie.





- I've been avoiding many friends lately. This is the time of the year where I hire some trumpet players for either some Big Band jobs or for the Easter period. I've had my favorites for the past few years but I am also looking for new faces. What's the best diplomatic way to tell a friend : I'm sorry but you're just not good enough ?






Off to bed now. How's your week going so far ?