I've done it again ! I am another guy new best friend !
It seems to be a recurring thing in my life : meeting a great guy, becoming fast friends and then Bang ! I'm his new best friend and wouldn't it be a shame to ruin that ?
Now that would explain why most of my friends are guys...
I should really have stucked with long term one night stands : random guys that should have stayed in my life for, well, only one night but for some reasons, stayed for a while. I've never had the butterfly effect, the anticipation, the tingling effect. I've never had a real first date neither. Or a real first kiss. Or my heart broken. Maybe it all comes from my constant need to please and to take care of other people : By always putting my needs last, I have less chances of getting myself hurt. I've had my ego crushed and bruised many, many times however ! That should explain my way too long list of exes or why I felt the need of getting restraining orders against 2 of them...
Somebody recently told me that all women have exactly the love life they want. Ouch. In that case, I should really get my act together and really try to figure out what I'm looking for as a partner ! I may have had many boyfriends but I don't recall ever pausing and asking myself what I really wanted : I've always blamed my bad choices men wise on being an artist.
Many people around me have come to the conclusion that I've been looking at the wrong places from the start. You think ?? See, a good friend of mine, Mr. B, has been in LOVE with me for almost 15 years now. Yup, that long. He reiterate his love at least once a year, to make sure I guess, that I don't forget he is there waiting for me... Don't worry though : It's been said and told that I really value our friendship but that I'll never share the same kind of feelings.
What if my friends were right ? What if the guy of my dreams was in fact Mr. B ??
Should I go the easy way and settle for a guy who will make a great lifelong companion but whom I'll never LOVE or should I keep looking for the perfect guy ?
I need a drink...
I think Gypsy has a good point. Maybe you are the one that has not wanted to loose your friendship with Mr. B., so try opening your heart. I found your blog when I was Googling for "women have exactly the love life they want", since I heard that recently too, some comedian or something said it but I can't find out exactly who. But I think it is true in a way, I'm sure if I left my husband I could get any number of my guy friends to step into his place easy. I don't want to do that though; with some I might have more of an intellectual spark than with my husband, some I might have more in common with, some I might laugh with more, but I doubt any are better in bed! I've made that my final criteria, rather than butterflies or feelings of missing the person or companionship. Of course he's also an extremely good guy, trustworthy and honest. I guess I'm saying chemistry at the sexual level speaks volumes in a silent way, and I've come to trust that.
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