The motherhood talk...

I am now at an age where many, many people around me either have babies or are trying to conceive. I am surrounded in real life or in the blog community by people swapping baby pictures, sonogram pictures or fertility charts.





For some of us, conceiving will happen very naturally, almost too easily. Some of us will take a bit longer to achieve that goal but will eventually suceed. Some of us will need all the help we can get. And that may or may not work. For some of us, the little perfect plan we've made out about becoming parents will not be as dreamy as we planned...





What brought me to this subject on this Monday morning ?





A familly member has been trying to conceive for the past 5 years with no results. We really feel for her ; but she's also been an award winning bitch about it. SHE deserves a baby. SHE deserves better. HER story is the most heartbroken one. That after all that happened in her life, SHE deserves a baby. Blah, blah...





No, life isnt fair, I agree.




Her bitchiness brought up the familly history about our abilities to conceive.





Our youngest sister conceived, quite happily after all, using the very effective calendar method ( calendar she never got to buy... )and the coitus interruptus (really ?)... No whining here allowed and lots of laughts regarding their chosen contraceptive method.





My twin sister was told that she shouldn't be complaining neither since she's already got 2 kids. True. But when your life plan was to raise 4 kids, when you've been trying to conceive for the past 6 years, only to get a few miscarriages and missed cycles, you should be allowed to whine a bit. With or without kids, it still hurts.





The favorite judgemental argument ?




About me.




I lost an ovary at the age of 20; the remaining one is an hostile one that's not producing anything productive (or reproductive for that matter) . I've known since the age of 20 that I would not be able to conceive naturally. I should then not be allowed to complain : I know in advance that I won't get knocked up by just trying.





WHAT ??





Did I deserved what happened ? No. No more or less that the person who just learned, after a year or 2 of trying, that things won't happen the way they were planned. Knowing in advance doesn't make it any easier.





I just wish some people would be less self-centered or less judgemental about the making of parenthood. Every person, no matter the age, no matter the social status, religion or color, straight or gay, every person that wish to be a parent deserves to be. And no one deserves it more than the other.